I'm still laughing...(Chuck Norris Facts)

Here are some totally true facts about Chuck Norris that I found on the information highway known as the internet.
Enjoy!



Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

Chuck Norris' mother called him "Charles" once. Once.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

It's no coincidence that the tattoo on Mike Tyson's face and the sole of Chuck Norris' boot share the same pattern.

Chuck Norris once had a near death experience. Needless to say, Death now refuses to come near him.

Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right

God created heaven and earth, he then created man. Man overpopulated the earth, so, God created Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris took the Blue Pill and still found out the truth

Playing chess against Chuck Norris is completely safe, it is only when he plays against himself that the resulting clash of unparralelled mind power causes all time to halt completely, and every molecule within a 5 mile radius explodes at the speed of light, complete protonic reversal, similar to what happens when the Ghostbusters "cross the streams."

Chuck Norris is the only person to win an Olympic Gold Medal in swimming without ever getting wet.

Heart disease may be the new leading cause of death in women age 45 to 65, but Chuck Norris is still the leading cause of death in men age 0 to 125.

Chuck Norris uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.